At WakeUp Carolina, we recognize the profound and lasting effects that parents with alcohol use disorder (AUD) can have on their children. The psychological, emotional, interpersonal, and behavioral repercussions often persist well into adulthood, shaping the lives of those who grew up in such environments.

Navigating an Unclear Sense of Normalcy

Children raised by parents with AUD often lack a stable example of what constitutes a healthy family dynamic. The normalization of alcohol use within the family can blur the lines between acceptable and unacceptable behaviors, leaving these children struggling to understand what “normal” really means. This confusion can follow them into adulthood, where they may feel conflicted and self-conscious when they realize that excessive drinking is not the norm in other families.

Trust Issues

Living in a household where denial, secrecy, and broken promises are commonplace can lead to deep-seated trust issues. Adult children of parents with AUD may find it challenging to trust others, fearing that trust will only lead to disappointment. This mistrust can hinder their ability to form and maintain close relationships, as past experiences make them wary of getting too close to anyone.

Self-Judgment and Low Self-Esteem

The turbulent environment created by a parent with AUD can significantly impact a child’s self-worth. Many adult children from these backgrounds take themselves very seriously and struggle with feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. They often view themselves as different and not good enough, leading to social withdrawal and difficulty forming friendships.

Interpersonal Effects

The influence of a parent’s AUD extends to the way adult children interact with others. They might become people-pleasers, constantly seeking approval and fearing criticism. This drive to avoid criticism or anger can turn them into overachievers or workaholics, while others may mimic the negative behaviors they witnessed during childhood.

The fear of abandonment is another common issue. Adult children of emotionally or physically unavailable parents may cling to toxic relationships, fearing loneliness more than the pain of staying in a harmful situation.

Behavioral Effects

The interplay of genetics and environment means that children of parents with AUD may be more susceptible to substance use and other behavioral issues. Research indicates that these children are at a higher risk for anxiety, depression, and unexplained physical symptoms. They are also more likely to exhibit rule-breaking, aggressiveness, and impulsivity.

Alcohol Use

Studies show that children of parents with AUD are more likely to misuse alcohol themselves, often beginning at a younger age and progressing to problematic levels of consumption more quickly. This risk is heightened if both parents struggle with AUD.

Internal and External Behavior Issues

Children of parents who misuse alcohol often experience internalizing behaviors such as anxiety and depression, alongside externalizing behaviors like rule-breaking and aggression. Many recall their childhoods as difficult and filled with “bad memories,” sometimes experiencing symptoms akin to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Poor Academic Performance

There is a noted correlation between parental alcohol use and lower academic performance in children. Behavioral issues, combined with an unstable home environment, can impede a child’s ability to perform well in school.

How to Cope When Your Parent Misuses Alcohol

If you grew up with a parent who has an alcohol use disorder, seeking support is crucial. Therapists and mental health professionals experienced in addiction can provide invaluable help. They can guide you through understanding and addressing the lingering effects of your upbringing.

Moving Forward

Research suggests that about one in 10 children live with a parent who has an alcohol use disorder, and about one in five adults were raised in such environments. Parents with AUD often struggle to provide a safe and loving environment, leading to long-term consequences for their children. At WakeUp Carolina, we urge families affected by alcohol use to seek help. Recovery is not just for those directly struggling with AUD but for their loved ones as well. Reach out today and take the first step towards healing and a brighter future.